The Return of the Roach

Last night I was up late reading shit on the internet and got a rather large fright. I was in bed with my laptop and looked up at the curtain rod and saw a giant FUCK-OFF cockroach sitting there waving its antennae at me. Knowing that at 3am screaming was not going to attract anyone's attention I thought of other methods to get rid of it.
Both of my cats were outside so my plan of putting a cat near it wouldn't work. Usually putting a cat near a bug results in the cat getting excited and chasing it/eating it. I have done this many times with praying mantises as my cat loves to bite their heads off and it suits me as I cant stand the little fuckers.
This only works with bugs that move enough for the cat to notice them, thankfully mantises like a challenge and want to take on anything (see pic below) so I have always used the cat method to get rid of them.

My only option with this giant cockroach was to get my trusty can of fly spray and spray the fucker. Seeing as they are impossible to KILL with fly spray I decided to use the spray to corral it out the door. It ran around the whole room first which pissed me off but also gave me a chance to RECOGNISE IT as the FUCKING ROACH NABF CHUCKED OVER THE BACK FENCE ON THURSDAY! This put me in a mad rage. Obviously the vile creature had spent the last few days trekking across the yard back to the house just to fuck me off. Pretty dumb since I saved it from being squashed under NABFs shoe. I emptied half a can on it as it ran out my door and I went back to bed quite agitated.

In the morning I was pleasantly surprised to see the cockroach on its back outside the door, its little legs waving around in the throes of death.... 6 hours after I sprayed it out of my room.

I did errands all day long and checked on its status over about a 10hr period. I think it is finally dead. Normally I don't like anything to suffer but cockroaches are different. They are GROSS.