Today is 31st January 2008 and I didn't wake up until midday which annoyed me as now I am fully in unemployed-bum-mode (as opposed to the last 6 weeks of holiday mode) and keep staying awake late at night chatting online to friends.
Was feeling quite positive about getting work after a good interview yesterday although not looking forward to waiting for confirmation of employment as in my experience agencies are full of shit and piss around for weeks on end.
Due to excessive boredom after the Dr Phil and Oprah Happy Hours had finished for the day I gave into craving and spent my last $5 on two Jellytip trumpets. I ate both. Well they are so tiny now, both together mushed in a bowl would barely equate the standard bowl of ice-cream kids get for dessert.
NABF (New 'Almost' Boy Friend)was keen to visit after he finished work especially after I informed him I had been naughty and spent my last $5 on ice-cream and this required him to come over and give me a smack/cuddle.
NABF came over around 7 and met my mum at the front door (I was on a phone call) and within thirty seconds of him entering the house he was on the Express New Paint Tour, I was surprised to find him in my mothers bedroom inspecting the new paint job while she chatted to him like a close chum. Good on you mum. Then we disappeared down to my room for a cuddle and were making out on my bed when sis burst through the door in her usual fashion and caught us, it was hilarious, as she hesitated I could see her thinking- "Do I hastily exit-or stay and pretend I can't see my sister snogging some guy I haven't even met yet?" Sis went with the latter and even came in to shake hands with NABF whilst asking me which present from a choice of two I thought would be suitable for a cousins 30th.
I became aware that during this discourse NABF was lying on his back and displaying a rather prominent erection in his jeans so I had to sort of lean over him to hide it from sis. I ummed and aahed about which present to go with suitably long enough to make everyone even more uncomfortable. (My purpose was to act casual and make everyone relax- it did not work). If sis had arrived 5 minutes later she would have been exposed to me giving NABF one of my most porn star BJs and I don't think she deserves to see that.
NABF decided to take my broke ass to a film (bless him) and despite my previous ice-cream gorging I asked him very nicely if I could have another rather enormous one which he obligingly bought me. The top scoop was precariously balanced and due to the excessive heat the thing started to melt immediately so I grabbed as many napkins and spoons as I could and we went into the theatre.
As lovely as NABF is I am not quite at the level of familiarity or thin enough to get away with walking out of a cinema covered in chocolate sauce and manage to look charming, rather I would have looked like a fat pog (who am I kidding- Looked like a fat pog- LOOKED LIKE= IS). I did manage to choke on my ice-cream (serves me right-pig) right at the beginning of the credit sequence, took NABF about 2 minutes to realise I was unable to breathe/swallow and had my hands rather full with excessive amounts of ice-cream so he held his Pepsi up to my mouth and gave me a sip which relieved my choking but made me look like a
yucky bingeing pog anyway.
Film was 30 Days of Night. I am a huge fan of the zombie/vampire genre of film, usually they are sufficiently frightening and gory to make me happy and I love seeing idiots get killed. I do not like to watch people be tortured before they die however, which is why I dislike Reservoir Dogs and other similar films. 30 Days of Night did cross over into this territory and actually made me feel quite sick at one point where a young girl is quite maliciously beaten before being killed.
I don't like seeing NZ actors in bit parts in Hollywood films simply for the fact that the retards in the cinema audience cant seem to stop themselves from sniggering or making stupid noises to acknowledge that they see someone from local television. Who gives a FUCK? I almost turned around to the stupid girl behind us (who irritated me from the second we sat down) "YES that is Marge from Shorty St get the FUCK over it and save your inappropriate laughter for the credits!"
This particularly stupid receptionist type whore was sitting with a beefy looking labourer type and another girl, all were under 25. They initially pissed me off by having a conversation during the trailers that, while not loud enough for me to hear, was at that annoying volume that stops you from being able to hear the on screen dialogue. Then the silly cow would erupt into a whiny laugh at something beef had said . To hear someone laugh when totally inappropriate totally fucks me off.
I turned and gave her a couple of stern looks which I am sure were a complete waste of time as throughout the first half of the film I could still hear her talking and every time someone got killed the dumb bitch would laugh.
I HATE this behaviour, and it totally puts me off seeing thrillers or horror films at the cinema as generally speaking when someone dies in the film there is a dramatic moment of silence where the audience is supposed to take in what has happened and these moments are where u get father immersed in the tension the film is trying to build. THIS EXPERIENCE IS WHAT I EXCHANGE MY MONEY FOR WHEN PURCHASING A MOVIE TICKET.
This dramatic tension is TOTALLY FUCKING RUINED when idiots laugh nervously or stupidly and bring you back from film immersion to the reality that you are sitting in a smelly cinema with a bunch of idiotic shitheads.
I whispered to NABF that I was going to stand up and tell this stupid chick that no-one in the audience was blind and therefore a running commentary was wasted on us and to therefore SHUT THE FUCK UP but she did end up closing her mouth during the second half of the film, which happened to be a vast improvement on the first half of the film as it was a completely disgusting gore fest and pretty much everyone got slaughtered.
NABF was not impressed post-movie as he informed me the film was based on a comic book (which sounds fantastic) and in true Fan Boy style he didn't like it as it failed to do justice to the comic series.
Came home from 30 Days of Night in a pleasantly gore-ified state and went to wander down to my boudoir for more cuddles and spotted a fucking giant cockroach on the banister of the stairs and had a small chick-fit as I HATE cockroaches.
I made the fatal error of alerting my mother (who started hovering as soon as she heard the car turn into the street) to its presence, she did her usual trick which is to blame me for it being there, as if I am the Queen of Roaches, even though she has told me before that an exterminator told her they live under every house in Auckland.
It did however provide NABF with a nice opportunity to display his manliness and he gallantly offered to smash it but my shrill protestations of "if you squash them then a thousand eggs come off them' made him desist from this method but I think only so I would stop shrieking. Under instruction from mother, he put a glass over it and a piece of card underneath, and carried it out to the back garden and threw it over the fence. I was not entirely pleased with this but I didn't want a squashed cockroach either so I forgot a bout it.
I slept well that night knowing that I was safely protected from bugs due to NABF's presence, but unfortunately not safe from male farts and having to share my bed with a tall heat generating male in already humid weather.
